Sports Outside the Beltway

Mavericks and NBA Christmas Wish List

I wish:

That Avery Johnson would mumble just once. He has the best enunciation known to man.

That the NBA would start an assistant coaches league where at halftime three coaches from one team play three coaches from another in half court three-on-three. The Mavericks have enough coaches that they could wear down teams over the course of the year. The winner gets to throttle the Duke assistant coaches. I want to see Chris Collins get dunked on by Jack Sikma.

That the Harlem Globetrotters would be named the official national team to play in all international competitions. And also provide halftime entertainment.

That the NBA would have an age ceiling on referees. It was interesting to note that there was no referees above 50 officiating the Soccer World Cup games this year.

That Devin Harris would no longer be refered to as “The Up and Coming Devon Harris”. The boy has arrived.

That the Dallas media would realize that all the time they spend sniffing Terrell Owens jock could be spent on the only story that will matter come the middle of January – the Mavericks’ quest for a title.

That Mark Cuban would stop his sarcastic approval act when commenting on the actions of the league office. Surprisingly, the Dallas media never comments on this. Do they really believe his mock glowing accolades for Stern and company?

That Shaq will show at least a passing interest in the regular season. This is purely for my selfish fantasy hoop purposes.

That the Clippers dream run of last year wouldn’t be a fluke.

That all true hoop fans would take on the Nash/Dirk hairstyle philosphy of shaving your hair in the offseason and not cutting it again until the season is over.

That Austin Croshere find a contributive role other than bench cheerleader.

That no assistant coach ever has plastic surgery. Tex Winter is like 80 years old but he looks 35 years younger than that.

That the injury bug going around the league does not reach the Mavericks.

That the Mavericks are hoisting a championship trophy in June.

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