Sports Outside the Beltway

Thoughts from a Sports Guy Reader

This was an e-mail I sent in to Bill Simmons (the very funny and actually intelligent sportswriter known as the “Sports Guy”) at 3:45am after reading his latest column… I decided it was good enough to post.

I’m an Indians fan currently living in NYC (yes, the ALDS rocked), and I thought you’d enjoy a few tidbits from the Indians’ announcers and an Indians fan in light of your latest article.

  • 1) Tom Hamilton announced as Blood Pressure Borowski came in that “Indians fans might be shocked to learn that he had more 1-2-3 innings this year than Mariano Rivera.” My brother called me up to tell me this and say “Yep, I was shocked.”
  • 2) Every ex-Clevelander I know has come up to me this postseason and said “You know, this year feels different. I’m not waiting for something horrible to happen that ends it all… I feel like they actually might win!” I’m sure that until 2004, you could appreciate that one.
  • 3) Then again, as I listened online to Game 2, when Youkilis hit that liner on the 11th pitch in the bottom of the 9th, I almost had a heart attack. (I’m 24.) Within 60 seconds of that moment, I’d spoken to my brother in NY, my sister in Baltimore, and my father in Cleveland. And amazingly, we’d all survived.
  • 3a) Indians’ announcer Hamilton about 2 seconds after pausing after that catch said “Cleveland, you can breathe again.”
  • 3b) I hadn’t been breathing.
  • 4) You haven’t seen enough Browns games. That’s the only way you can think that Indians’ fans won’t stay loud in the freezing cold. I’ve been to subzero Browns games at the end of the year when they’re WAY out of it, and you’d think they were still in the playoff hunt. 40 degrees?! That’s like a sauna to Cleveland fans.
  • 4a) The Indians’ announcers in Game 2 noted in about the 4th or 5th inning that the Sox fans didn’t seem as loud as the Indians or Yankees fans had been in the first series. It could be because it’s a smaller park, but Hegan thought that they seemed like they were waiting for the World Series to get really into it.
  • 4b) As a total throw-in, Bill Belichik is an *******. He completely sucked when he coached the Browns, and while he’s not at Jordan/Elway/Modell/Jose Mesa/Steelers level of hatred in Cleveland, that’s only because everyone thought he was too boring to listen to to even hate.
  • 4b2) I think the only reason Romeo Crennel didn’t get fired as the Browns’ head coach after Week 1 is because people are afraid he’ll be the next Belichik: Supposed defensive genius, clueless-looking head coach, sounds like he’s going through the motions in press conferences, never looks like he cares about anything, spends a couple of years squandering great offensive talents (Kosar/Metcalf; Winslow/Edwards), brings in semi-washed up but decent LBs from his old team (Pepper Johnson;Willie McGinest)… it would be typical Browns to let him go and then watch as he somehow turns up in 7 years in his 2nd Super Bowl, citing what he “learned” in those “hard times” as a Browns head coach.
  • 5) Whenever Joe Borowski enters a game, I have terrible Jose Mesa flashbacks, thinking “NO! Leave in Mike Jackson!!” (Betancourt)
  • 6) You know that if the Indians keep winning these games, there’s a strong possibility there will be no good ALCS MVP choice. If Borowski has 4 scoreless innings and 3 saves, would it not be the funniest thing ever if he’s standing up there, receiving the award? Wouldn’t you (in between tears and yelling) crack up at your TV screen? This could really happen.

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